YO TAMBIÉN FUI UN HIJODEPUTA ADOLESCENTE
09.11.2007 | Actualidad | 90 Comentarios
Hola hijos de puta, mi cinismo no va tan lejos como para echar la cuenta de cuántos miles de euros costaban las vidas de los nueve finlandeses asesinados por el chalao de turno. Además, yo que los tengo de vecinos, casi me caen bien los finlandeses, Kimi Raikkonen, Mika Hakkinen, Marcus Grönholm, Keke Rosberg… Bueno, la verdad es que creo que no hay un finlandés que no sea conocido por conducir coches. Así es normal que le caigan bien a todo el mundo… No, no, esperad, me ha venido a la cabeza uno… ¡Kaurismäki! Uno que hace pelis así de que son un coñazo para cineclubs, ¿véis? Siempre tiene que haber un hijo de puta que te estropea el país.

Son raros estos finlandeses, hasta hay menos que catalanes…
Vale, hay alguno más, Jari Litmanen, el futbolista ése que en el Ajax era un crack y que luego lo llevó Van Gaal al Barcelona, el compositor Sibelius y su Vals Triste de Sibelius, el atleta Paavo Nurmi que en unas olimpiadas ganó cinco medallas en seis días antes de que existiesen los controles antidoping… Incluso alguno más que han exportado al resto del mundo, como Renny Harlin, el director de pelis como "La Jungla 2", "La Isla de las Cabezas Cortadas", "Deep Blue Sea", "Driven" y, sobre todo, ¡¡¡"MÁXIMO RIESGO"!!! ¡SÍIIIIIIIIIIIII! ¡La de Sylvester Stallone! Nunca, nunca, nunca, nunca olvidaremos a ese prodigio de la interpretación en el momento que después de caminar varios cientos de kilómetros en camiseta a veinte bajo cero llega al refugio y se envuelve temblequeante en una manta. ¡Ooooh! ¡Qué grande! ¡Ése es mi Rocky! Su talento ahí casi está a la altura de Christopher Lambert cuando se baja de la maquinita que le da giros en "La Fortaleza Infernal" y uno puede encontrar en su mirada las secuelas de haber hecho de hombre mono en "Greystoke"… JAJAJA! JAJAJAJA!!! ¡Qué hijos de puta!

El mundo es injusto: ¿Para cuándo un Oscar a Stallone y a Lambert?
Disculpad, me he emocionado… Yo es que soy de los que adoran "The Postman"… En fin, hay otro finlandés más conocido que todos los hijos de puta anteriores, uno que además lo conoce todo dios: Papá Noel. Sí, amigos, cómo da por el culo que hayan sido los finlandeses los que nos han legado semejante mierda, la comercialización del paganismo más papanatas engalanado de buen rollo católico, cuando tiene a un ejército de gnomos eunucos esclavizados todo el año haciendo juguetes madeinchina. ¡Qué asco!
Con semejante responsabilidad nacional a cuestas es más fácil entender que se te vaya la olla. El triste hijodeputa adolescente que la ha liado a tiros en Finlandia la ha cagado pero bien. Ha dejado todas las pistas para que la prensa satanice su pensamiento antisistema. No sé si han caído en la cuenta de que así van a erigir éste en un modelo. ¿Por que hay algún adolescente que no piense casi lo mismo que ese infeliz? Es más, ¿hay alguien que no quiera definirse como un humanista antisocial? Yo soy un oso, así que eso de «cuánto más rápido sea aniquilada la raza humana de este planeta, mejor», ¿qué queréis que os diga?, me llega…
Para los que no sois osos, el hilo que separa la necesidad de autoafirmación del ego en la adolescencia y su expresión discriminatoria respecto del «otro» es muy fino. Bien que lo han sabido siempre los ideólogos de las movilizaciones populistas, sean nazis, abertzales, OTs o futboleras. Siempre ha sido un bien de uso político y comercial por parte de los verdaderos hijos de puta. No dejéis que os utilicen.
¡Chavales! No sois unos asesinos por sentiros superiores a los que os rodean, no sois unos asesinos por despreciar los usos de esta sociedad, no sois unos asesinos por vuestro individualismo rabioso y por vuestro pensamiento discriminatorio. ¡¡¡Sólo sois unos MARITIMUS!!!, la evolución lógica de niños traumatizados por las mentiras de convivencia que os han hecho tragar desde la escuela sobre un mundo de justicia que empezáis a comprobar que no existe en el entorno adulto. Sólo sois la negación del hijodeputa de Papá Noel y toda su cohorte de enanos y renos con narices rojas.
Podéis encontrar una salida a todo eso mejor que liarla a tiros. Aunque tampoco hace falta que seáis tan babosillos como el chaval que colgó un dibujo de una chica que había visto en el metro con la esperanza de encontrarla.
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Eh! Puto Stallone... que me robó el oscar a la mejor peli... ¡Sus odio a todos!
Travis Bickle | 14.11.2007 | 03.22 PM
Oye Maritimus, veras , he visto un video que se puede bajar por emule de la pelicula( la crisis carnivora) en animacion tradicional , que no es en flash , y hablada en ingles, ¿ no sabras tu por casualidad algo sobre eso , que que es , si van a hacer la pelicula de esa manera , y cuando se estrena ? si lo sabes ehh, por si no lo sabias , en emule se llama el video ( la crisis carnivora en animacion tradicional en ingles ).
fabio | 13.11.2007 | 04.30 PM
¡¡¡Los hijos de puta de los 80!!! Está bien que alguien se acuerde de Siniestro Total. ¿Y los Ilegales cantando "Heil Hitler!"? JAJAJA, JAJAJAJA!!! ¡Qué colgaos... Yo me sé una mejor: Dalí escandalizó a los surrealistas en los años treinta al insistir en entronizar a Hitler en un retrato en el que éste apareciese con sus nalgas turgentes. ¡Ése sí qué era un auténtico hijodeputa!
Marítimus | 13.11.2007 | 09.25 AM
¿mandeeee?
Nuncalosabrásh | 13.11.2007 | 01.59 AM
Por cierto que nadie piense que soy el único gran hijo de puta que ha ironizado con esto. Ya en tiempos esos grandes hijos de puta que son (si amiguitos hijos de puta siguenvivos) SINIESTRO TOTAL cantaban eso de... " Pueblos del mundo extinguios/ dejad que continue la evolución/ esterilizad a vuestros hijos/ juntos de la mano hacia la extinción". También cantaban aquello de "Las tetas de mi novia" "Ayatola menea mi titola" "Todo por la napia" y otras delicatesen...no sé cómo los integristas de la yihad, las feministas, la asociación española contra la drogradicción y seguro que muchas más asociaciones amigas de lo políticamente correcto no han pedido ya su cabeza de hijos de puta en una bandeja de plata, Ole sus güevos.
hijoeputa | 12.11.2007 | 10.04 PM
¿Y los osos adolescentes contra qué se revelan? ¿Les pasa cómo a las pollos del Mc Donald que quieren ser patatas fritas? Es decir soñais con ser pingüinos? Por cierto se no comentas que la otra gran salida que tiene un adolescente que no se integra en esta sociedad y que piensa que el mundo es una mierda es el suicidio. Hijo de puta si no te gusta el mundo, para que vas a peder el tiempo en intentar cambiarlo?, suicidate y dejas sitio para el resto de hijos de puta. Hala venga que encima así evitáis la reproducción y el final de la raza humana estará más cerca, si lo hacéis en grupo tipo cámara de gas (en un garaje con el coche de papá) ahorréis esfuerzos.
hijoeputa | 12.11.2007 | 09.02 PM

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