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No, no voy a hablar de Doña Letizia, aunque el título podría parecer propicio hace un par de años, JAJAJA… Ay, Pelayo, bendito seas que con tu solo nombre vas a recuperar el orgullo patrio frente a esos moros malos que matan a gente, ya no estás solo, amigo. Otro Pelayo te acompaña en la empresa, supongo que bautizado con el mismo fin por los señores Agag Aznar… En fin, nada es casual, algo tendrá que ver esta mierda con que pensaba hablar de fútbol, sí, y del Real Madrid, claro.

Ahora que los blancos vamos de líderes (coleguillas, los merengues acertaron desde el principio con el color, eso no se lo quita nadie), igual es que el ciclo negro del 11-M toca a su fin. ¿Recordáis? Es que he visto a Baltasar Garzón en la tele y me ha venido todo a la cabeza. El juez en el palco del Camp Nou, Zapatero declarándose seguidor del Barça… El azufre de Carod Rovira y demás compañeros de viaje confabulándose contra el equipo del imperio, aquél que junto a la foto de las Azores comenzaba a devolver a España su lugar en la historia…

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Aquellos maravillosos años… en que la cagaron bien

Tras el atentado del 11-M, no sólo el PP se tuvo que bajar del gobierno, sino, sobre todo y más importante, el Real Madrid perdió la Copa frente al Zaragoza y comenzó a dilapidar su ventaja en la Liga para perderla ese año frente al Valencia, y los dos siguientes frente al Barcelona, naufragando también en la Champions y haciendo inútiles los fichajes galácticos de cada año. Se acabaron las sonrisas bajo el bigote con los triunfos madridistas, Florentino dimitió, la burbuja inmobiliaria comenzó a desinflarse…

Aquél día, el día que el Real Madrid perdió la Copa, ¿perdieron también los ciudadanos del Madrid Sur golpeado por el atentado? ¿Esos aficionados, en su mayoría oriundos, que acarician el sueño de la integración en la tierra prometida con sus modestas aportaciones como socios para engordar de ceros el sueño nacido en el Madrid Norte? ¿Es posible que esos jugadores multimillonarios, en los que proyectan sus deseos de un futuro ajeno a la miseria, se vinieran abajo moralmente, dolidos por lo que había sucedido a sus paisanos? ¿No pudieron sobreponerse al dolor para enarbolar el coraje de una victoria dedicada al sufrimiento? Bueno, igual es que después de todo no fue más que un puto partido de fútbol que les tocó perder. Yo también he perdido muchos, claro.

Las ciudades convierten a los futbolistas en vicarios de su papel en el universo. ¿Qué mejor que las greñas, la sonrisa y los dedos meñique y pulgar agitándose de Ronaldinho para representar a la Barcelona pretendidamente abierta y multicultural? La pelea entre el Real Madrid y el Barça trasciende cada día lo deportivo (si es que lo ha sido en algún momento) para convertirse en una batalla política (Mariano, ¿cómo se le ocurre hacer eso a Gallardón? ¿Es que quiere que gane otra vez el Barça?…), y, lo que es más divertido y delirante, en una disputa entre pueblos al más viejo estilo caciquil, puesto que cómo ya no importa si chutan mejor la pelota los nacidos en Madrid o en Barcelona, nos gastamos la pasta en ver quién tiene la puta más cara. Esto me recuerda mucho a la mayor ofensa que podía hacer un noble vasco a otro, que, cómo no, se resumía en decir: «yo soy más que tú».

Imagen

No hay duda. El mestizaje debe ser bueno.

Cada vez que veo a un niño enfundado con la camiseta de un club de fútbol pienso en que sus progenitores ya le están iniciando en la turbia enseñanza de representarse a través de unos frente a otros, y no a sí mismo. Y no, tampoco me vale que el Athletic de Bilbao juegue sólo con vascos o asimilados, con «nuestra gente», que suele decirse, que a dónde lleva la endogamia ya lo tienen escrito los Borbones en la cara… y un servidor, claro, porque si los animales no fuésemos tan incestuosos no seríamos tan idiotas como para que unos putos monos delgados y sin dientes llevarais un millón de años dándonos por el culo.

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